#118 Amy

A reflection

Her desperate death fifteen years ago this month changed the meaning of her sacred text forever - a personal diary of heartbreak transformed into a collective book of remembrance.

When it was released in 2006, Amy Winehouse's Back to Black mourned the loss of her relationship; today, it mourns the loss of Amy. It can't be heard any other way. Yet, though it is weighed down with sadness, it has the power to uplift too.

I feel genuinely privileged I got to see her play three times, once pre and twice post her Back to Black revelation. All three performances were truly memorable.

The first was two years before her commercial breakthrough at the Miller Stratpack concert in September 2004. The Wembley Arena event celebrated 50 years of the iconic Fender Stratocaster guitar and featured Hank Marvin, David Gilmour, Brian May, Gary Moore and many others including Amy - lest we forget, a great guitarist as well as a supremely gifted singer. She performed three songs from her 2003 debut album Frank (Take the Box, In My Bed, Stronger than Me) and the impact was palpable. Joy in her eyes, hope in her heart and the future waiting patiently for her next move. Most of all, I remember the hush - a silent respect for a 21-year-old girl shining brightly amongst a galaxy of established stars.

By the time I saw her again nearly three years later at the 2007 Isle of Wight Festival, it looked different (thousands of admiring fans, full backing band) but felt the same. Strip away the huge chart success and expanded stage show and only one thing counted - Amy. A stunning showcase of an iconic album and a performance to treasure.

The third time was just 24 hours later but Saturday sunshine had been replaced by Sunday darkness as Amy joined festival headliners The Rolling Stones for a raucous rendition of Ain't Too Proud to Beg. Chewing gum and cavorting with Mick Jagger, she couldn't have looked more at home in such revered company. Just one song but what a moment.

Her issues and tragic death are well documented, but when I think about Amy, I think about this quote. During the recording of Back to Black's title track, producer and song co-writer Mark Ronson suggested she fixed the words to the non-rhyming chorus ("We only said goodbye with words, I died a hundred times"). She simply replied: "Why would I fix that? That's what came out."